Why I hate home repair.

I hate home repairs.  Don't get me wrong, it's not that I'm lazy, or don't care about my home.  It's that nagging feeling of incompetence and impending disaster I have the entire time that I'm doing something in my home.  I do consider myself to be moderately handy around the house.  I can do minor electrical things, like changing plugs and light fixtures. I can paint and do cosmetic work. I even did the hardwood floor in the house we are currently in. 

 But my wife watches the DIY network. 

 She has "ideas" and "plans."  

 They're good ideas and plans, but they are generally huge.  So far I  have been able to hold her off, mostly because we can't afford the renovations she wants to do right now. In the mean time, I'm building my skill set with smaller repairs.  There are plenty to do, because I have three kids, three cats and a dog.  Even when I think I'm done, all of a sudden there's more to do.  That's how I spent my weekend.  It did not go as well as it could have...

So here's the whole sordid tale. Let me start off with the recent history of our upstairs bathroom.  Recently, the toilet started to not clear as well as it had before.  Constant clogging, slow flushing.  A toilet snake wouldn't even go into the toilet.  Amy and I were worried the dishcloth Claire had flushed months ago was back to haunt us. At the time I called a plumber and was told that if everything worked, and was fine after a couple of days then not to worry.  So in my mind, I knew this was not it.  But I really didn't want to pull the toilet.  Finally I give in.  On a Saturday morning while Amy and the kids are shopping I launch into the bathroom.  It was uneventful, except for the toothbrush I pulled from the toilet.  With my fingers, because nothing else would reach.  Yes, ewww. I figured the bathroom will be problem free for awhile.


Nope.  Saturday rolls around.  Claire, for what ever reasons two year olds have, decides to cram as much toilet paper as possible down the sink.  She used a pencil to push it down.  Then runs water.  The toilet paper compacts, so she adds more.  I figure no worries, I'll fix it in the morning.  I've got a commitment to help a buddy with set building on Sunday morning but  while Amy takes the kids to church; I'll pull the trap off the sink and off to help him in, like, 20 minutes. I assemble my tools and supplies so I'm prepared and ready to start.  


Amy leaves Sunday morning, and I'm started before the door is closed.  Ominous start.  One of the nuts is rusted tight. No problem. Tighten just a little to loosen rust, then off she comes. The next is the same, but cracks. Crummy, but not a big deal. Off to get another. Three stores later...we have a new nut. Awesome. Off comes the J trap. It is also cracked. Has been for years, likely since it was installed. I can see pipe wrench tooth marks on the sides of it.  Dammit. Back to the store. I get a new trap. Now Amy and the kids are back from church. No prob, quick fix, and we're done, right? Nope. All my tools are gone. Claire has "helped" by putting them away. But doesn't remember where. It was also assumed that I was finished, and had gone to help my friend Rob, so about two litres of water are now in the bottom of the vanity. Clean up. Find tools. Put the J trap on the drain pipe coming from the sink. It slips right on no problem. Beauty. Go to hook it to the drain going into the wall. There has been a change in standard size of J trap in the intervening years from original installation. All work ceases for Sunday, as Amy has "things to do." It is 2 pm.

Monday morning. I get no call for Sub work, so here we go. I modify the drain pipe from the sink by cutting about 1 inch off the length. My tubing cutter is, like, 1/8 of an inch too small, so I use a hacksaw while stuffed under the bathroom sink.  Bashed knuckles and swearing under my breath ensue.  No cuts on the sharp pipe edges though.  This is accomplished while Claire is sitting on me "helping." I hook everything up. Fit is great. I turn on the water, and it pours from the wall end of the J trap fitting as though there were no pipe there at all. Clean up. Remove everything. The little seal lip on the old trap-to-wall pipe broke when I tightened it. Apparently it was also cracked. Dammit. Back to the store.  Then another.


 "Oh no, those don't come separately, they only come as a kit with a J trap," the guys says.  
"But I already have the J trap," I say. Those do come separately. 
"No worries," the guy says "even if it's open you can return it," 
"Awesome!" I say. 
"unless it's been installed," he finishes. 
"......," I say. 
Buy the kit. Back home. Everything is installed and leak free. It is 1:30 Monday afternoon.


This is why I hate home repair.