Serious Stuff.

So here it is.  Last week a very close friend of mine went to the hospital complaining of chest pain, nausea and pain in his neck.  Classic symptoms. He's less than ten years older than me.  My Dad crossed in his early 40's, in 1998.  Those of you who know me, (not that anyone reads this, but whatever,) know that I am not the healthiest person in the world.  I'm overweight.  I am far less active than I aught to be.  My knee is already well on the way to complete failure.

I have had chest pain in the past, and have had more recently.  Went to the Dr. for routine evaluation of my blood pressure meds last night.  My pressure was 135/101.  Needless to say, I am concerned.  I have three small children six and under.  I want to see them grown, and married with children of their own.  My Dad never got to see that.  It's remarkable how all of these things can make a person stop and think.  We've all seen the ads "heart disease and stroke will take 1 in 3 before their time." We ignore it and wait for Big Bang Theory to come back on.  It's sobering and uncomfortable to think that I could well be that 1 in 3.

Not everything is against me.  I have an awful family history, yes.  I remember very clearly when we got the phone call that my paternal Grandfather had passed.  I was 13.  My brother and I were sitting at the dining room table playing the old T.M.N.T roleplaying game.  My dad picked up the phone.  It was the first time I ever saw him cry. I do not smoke.  I do not eat excessively bad food; not truckstop eating or fast food gorging.  I have tried time and again to go to a gym; life consistently seems to have other plans...

We are, as a society I think, terribly insensitive to death.  We see it daily on the evening news, the internet graciously provides the latest videos or human rights abuses and governmental murder from across the globe to our desk while we enjoy our coffee.  Then we watch funny cat videos or an annoying citrus fruit.  Violence has even become a form of entertainment.  How many people have you "killed" playing video games?  Is this a bad thing over all?  Not neccessarily.  We are a violent species over all.  We are one of only two species on the planet that will wipe out competitors to the last individual.  The other species is ants. (of course I am generalizing the many types of ants...)

This insensitivity disappears completely when confronted with your own death.

Wait.  I just re-read that.  No, it doesn't.  I still played Battlefield 3 last night, gleefully blowing up other people.  I still laughed at a cartoon mocking the late Kim Jong Il not ten minutes ago.  I guess it only makes us consider our OWN connectedness.  How selfish is that?